The Master Of Spontaneity (Image from Marian the Contrarian)

From The Coach’s Mail Bag:

Dear Catherine,

I am stepping back on stage after 17 years of stage fright that has frozen me in place, and I need help. My vibration is low and I need to fire it up!

Years ago, I found myself on stage doing standup….and loving it! My humor has always been edgy and raw and being a little naughty was an easy way to get a laugh. The snarkier and dirtier I was, the more the crowd would howl.

I loved it. For 6 years, three nights a week I was in heaven. I craved the connection with the crowd. I felt more alive in comedy than I ever had before. Raised in a restricted, tense home that had no sense of humor and losing a brother to suicide were only some of the wicked circumstances that had cramped my self concept. Comedy was my escape, until it all collapsed.

A family member, who shall remain unnamed, criticized my schtick. I was told I was not funny. In fact, I was told I was narcissistic, self serving and not funny at all. Those words went to the deepest part of me and killed the comic.

Fast forward to today. Through hard work, coaching and deep body work, I have shed years of self hatred and doubt. I signed up for a stand up comedy class and forced myself to go. Even though there were nights I had to kick my own ass to get there, I never gave up.

I felt awkward because my stand up style is totally spontaneous. The teacher, a man I greatly love and respect, believes in preparation, scripts and professionalism. Because I adore him, I did my best. I wrote scripts and practiced….best I could.

But it doesn’t work!!!!  Catherine, can you please help me? It’s not that I don’t know how to be funny when I memorize a script, I just don’t want to!!  Help!!

Love,
Jeanice

Dear Jeanice,

I love your story! It is very true that a loved one can murder your creative spirit with one cruel word. My own dad said something cruel about my writing when I was 18 and I didn’t write a word (except school work) for 20 years, no lie.

You might want to try The Robin Williams Technique, here is how it works. As you know, Robin was hard to contain. I remember watching him on the late night talk shows as the various hosts tried to interview him. He could barely sit still.  He was Mork from Ork, after all.

In the movie The Bird Cage, apparently Robin and Nathan Lane had to commit to the director that they would get one full take in the can before they could improvise. We will never know which scenes were right out of his mind and which were scripted.

Robin knew what it was like to have all that genius and that he had to contain it part of the time. What if you could have coffee with Robin, what would you ask him? In this technique, you simply act as if you actually are speaking to him. You open your imagination and create it.

Personally, I have done this technique with many pop culture icons. I have written journal entries where I ask the person a question and then imagine what they would say back to me. It is amazing what your imagination will provide…

Here is what to do.

  1.  Find a photo of Robin and cut and paste it to the top of a document. (You can use any pop culture icon for this exercise!)
  2. Type 5 questions that you would want to ask him if he were there with you.
  3. Sit quietly and imagine that Robin himself was speaking to you.
  4. Ask him if there was one thing he wished he would have known when he started his career, what would it be?
  5. Sit quietly and listen.
  6. Finish by writing Robin a letter. Thank him for his inspiration.

As you go through this exercise, notice any resistance you have. How will the resistance show up? Sometimes it is the mocking inner voice that says, “Yeah, right!”  Sometimes resistance shows up by shutting your throat and not letting you speak. This is why writing is so helpful.

I hope this helps, Jeanice, please let us know how it works out and….Break a leg!

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