Question: Do you feel safe in Mexico?
Answer: Yes and no. Living off the grid in a nature preserve is deeply soul satisfying. Living in a poor nation where running hot water is a luxury for many makes for a lot of desperate people. Desperate people do dangerous things. Soothing and relieving anxiety is as necessary here as it is in the hectic US.
The Bench
I am sitting at “The Bench” at 9:30 on Sunday morning. The sun is warm on my back. My hoodie snug around me. Flocks of Great White Herons are visiting the river in the estuary below.
The steady whine of motorcycles is roaring over the valley. I swear you can hear the exhilaration of the drivers zipping along the winding road connecting Rosarito to Ensenada.
Mexican music is drifting in from Santa Anita, the tiny village up and across the river from me. A man’s voice is echoing “Tamales, Rosa’s Tamales” as he sells his wares with an old megaphone. Local merchants frequently drive beaten up old cars selling fresh and delicious food. You can eat well for less than $2.
Love lives here
“The Bench” is the place in my lovely landlord’s garden where she and her family have met and loved one another for over 25 years. Now I am sitting here with my dogs writing to you. I wish you could be here.
In a couple of weeks I will be in Baja for a year. I have a little spot in San Diego that I still call home, but my heart is now in Mexico. I am falling in love with simple living.
I still do not have a microwave, toaster oven or blender. I love how creative you have to be to do everything. It is like living back in time. There are dirt roads everywhere and it is not unusual to see local cowboys at Maganas, the area drinking hole where drinks are always $2 US, riding up on horseback.
La Misión is smack in the middle between Rosarito and Ensenada. While there are some well to do American’s living here, most of the people are poor beyond fairness.
I know people who live in cars.
There is not a local person within 100 miles who could afford the rent to live in my studio. Medical care for the village citizens is fine if you have a cold, not so good if you need ongoing treatment for burns or other injuries. It is a continuing challenge to filter out and detach from the incredible needs of the beautiful people here.
There are countless charities all trying to help the people. It is necessary to pick and choose carefully as the need is not the call. I am sponsoring a young artist and her family. I prefer to be personally involved with my giving.
Yes, I am happier than I have ever been. Yes, I see the ocean everyday. Yes, I am off the grid surrounded by nature, animals and beautiful insects. I am working online with clients all over the world who want to know, “How did you do it?”
I am watching my world unfold like magic, right before my very eyes.
But.
Yes, there is a but. Even though I have manifested everything I wanted when I first set a certain intention eleven years ago, I still lose my way from time to time. Fear and worry are my nemesis. Keeping my focus is a life goal and a daily challenge.
When my mind goes ahead, I lose my peace. Every time.
I start to fidget. I twist my hands and swing my foot. I tighten my jaw and my belly. Sometimes I hold my breath. A lot of the time I catch myself holding my breath. Years ago, I was shocked to find out that these are all symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and other anxiety issues.
In the past, I always tried to feel better by trying to figure out what was making me anxious, or who was triggering my PTSD. The trouble is, I could never figure it out.
No matter how much I tried to tell the people why I was struggling with them, nothing ever changed. I was always fidgeting and feeling tight and uncomfortable with certain people.
Enter my hero, The Heavy Blanket.
It all started in 2007 when I was going through chemo. Having worked with miracle working Occupational Therapists the previous year, I saw how heavy blankets calmed angry teenagers. WTF?
Emo kids (highly sensitive and misunderstood teens) in a special school because of social awkwardness were taught to go ask for the heavy blanket when they started to freak out.
I watched first hand the power of heavy blankets to calm breathing and help the kids relax. Now that I was fighting terror every night, I ordered my own. I have been using it ever since.
My body feels like it melts when I am under my blanket. Typically recommended is a blanket 10% of your body weight, plus a pound. I got plus two pounds because I am an overachiever. LOL.
Anxiety steals peace of mind. Chronic anxiety can actually feel normal. Chewing your fingernails, wiggling around at movies, hair twisting, scab picking, all of these things are like little pressure relief valves, letting off inner steam.
If there is one chance in a thousand that getting better physical rest under a heavy blanket could help you stay calmer longer, wouldn’t it be worth it?
I am really lucky because I am living off the grid. Keeping my peaceful mindset is easier than ever in my life. I still use my heavy blanket every day. Usually after about 30 minutes or so, I kick it off. If I wake up in the morning and it is still on me, I know I am stressed.
When I got my first blanket it was close to 200 dollars. Now they are just 60 dollars or so on amazon. Here is a link to check it out. Do you have one? Do you have any questions about tapping and PTSD? Don’t hesitate to reach out!
Review of Heavy Blankets: https://www.tuck.com/weighted-blanket-reviews/
Leave a comment and let me know what you think? Is anxiety your life long companion?