I’m sorry mom.
Could Family Estrangement be strangling your manifesting progress?
Parenting adult kids is trippy.
Especially when you don’t feel old enough to have kids that age. Law Of Attraction fans can have a real challenge staying in the alignment, the manifesting zone, when their adult kids go through hard times. I don’t know many things that can take the air out of the happiness balloon than a call from an adult child in trouble.
What can a parent do?
Abraham Hicks teaches over and over again that the key is to take your eyes off the condition that is worrying and upsetting you, right? Focusing on the misery only makes you feel miserable, but what can a parent do? You can set intentions that your child find his or her way to resolution in the best way possible for the benefit of all concerned. Then what? How do you deal with your own mind, your own pain and your own mistaken focus on THEIR conditions.
Look at this email I got from a hurting parent and then check out this sure fire process for distancing and distracting your self when someone you know is suffering.
Hi Catherine,
Do you have any exercises on how to have peace while estranged from an adult child that you once were
extremely close to? While I don’t believe this is a permanent situation; it’s difficult but necessary at this time.
Hi Lydia,
Having adult kids is full of challenges. I also have been through some interesting ups and downs with my own! One of my favorite things to do is to write stories or letters from one character to another to tell one possible version of the manifestation I desire.
In this case, here is a fictional letter written from a son to a mom who has been estranged. While you are reading this, you may feel energy get pinched in your heart, upper chest, throat, eyes, nose, jaw or ears, keep breathing evenly and deeply to work through the blocks.
You can also tap as you are reading it. It isn’t easy to deal with family members who are alienating themselves and everyone else. It isn’t easy when someone disagrees. It isn’t easy if someone turns their back on you completely. In this time of terrible racial and political tension, families are being torn apart.
When I fictionalize life problems and write as if I were writing a letter for a stranger, oddly enough, it helps. Especially when the thoughts stir my emotions and help tears to flow. Letters like this have helped me time and time again. Good Luck!
The following is a fictionalized email written by a mom who is estranged from her son. She doesn’t have any idea how to re-connnect. The goal of this process is to write yourself a letter from the estranged family member speaking the thoughts you wish so much you could really hear from them.
Hi Mom,
I miss you. I feel bad you can’t get here more often. I know I scared you last time I broke the window when I lost it. Mom, I am scared for myself. I wanted to let you know that I finally opened up to a buddy the other night at the bar.
For some reason, I opened up and told him more than I meant to. I told him you and me used to be close and how much I missed you. I told him how I always acted like such a dick with you. A mean sarcastic dick. I told him, I don’t know why I am so mean to my mom.
Mom, I cried. I didn’t mean to. He had a lot of good things to say and he has a buddy who is a pastor. I am tired of being pissed off all the time. I want to do things a different way. I see my girlfriend wince and cringe from me and I can’t stand it.
Well, I went to see the pastor and you won’t believe who it was. Do you remember Mr. C, that old history teacher from college? It was him. He has got to be a 100 years old but he is sharp as a tack. He is real smart, Mom. He makes sense to me and he is helping me calm down.
Mr. C helped me see that it isn’t fair for others to have to see me that way.
Turns out he used to get panic attacks! Can you believe it??? He hated taking medicine at first too. He made me laugh telling about how terrible it was for him years ago. I knew just what he meant. Just hearing someone make fun of themselves like that made me feel so much better. I couldn’t believe I was laughing about it.
Mr. C takes medicine and has for years, he talked to me about it. I’m not ok with it right now and he said that was fine. He wants to talk to me again next week and I want to talk to him some more.
Mom, I am afraid you are not coming to see me because you are afraid I will blow up like that again. I apologize for putting you through that. Mr. C helped me see that it isn’t fair for others to have to see me that way. He told me how his wife almost left him but then she stood right up to him and called him a bully.
Can you believe that Mr. C was ever a bully? Anyway, he told me that the one thing that made all the difference in the world to him was when he helped his first man let go of his anger. Even though he didn’t understand how, somehow all the pain and grief of the past became worth it when he showed someone else they could change.
You are the last person in the world I want to hurt.
I know I have been mean and disrespectful to you mom. I see it now. It makes me sad to think of how much I have hurt you by being a dick. I love you Mom and I don’t know why I am a dick. Mr. C says it is because I haven’t decided to be a man and not a boy.
I am not so sure about that but I do know that you are the last person in the world I want to hurt. I want to stop being a dick and I am working on it. You have always been there for me, mom. I know things haven’t been easy for you and I’m super proud of how you have gotten through it all.
I want to see you soon and I look forward to seeing the look on your face when you see how big the kids are getting.
Thanks for never giving up on me. You are right, it will be great for us to spend some time together. I miss you.
What about you? Are you estranged from anyone in your family? If they don’t understand you, that’s ok. It is not your job to make them understand you. As you take slow steady steps to stay calm and focused in spite of the conditions you see, your family may see and feel you as approachable. (If you are estranged from your Adult Children, you can find support at Stand Alone.)
Meanwhile, pay attention to the humans who are in your immediate world right now. Connect and enjoy people everywhere you go. That is the way to truly enjoy the Law of Attraction. It is very fun to see how much in common the “strangers” you meet have with you!!
PS Look what Lydia sent me after she read this “fantasy email” from a loved one:
OMG! Catherine you are always on time. How do you do that? I read the letter in it’s entirety and you’re right I immediately began to feel the energy; at one point I felt like was having a panic attack and I know that was because parts of the letter hit home. I love you and I don’t even know you (well I guess I do know you). As always, until next time thanks so much for all you do. BTW, how did you know that it was my son?
Can you relate? Leave a comment below: